Mine is different from yours

My Mother’s Day doesn’t start like yours.  I work night shift and therefore; have the luxury of receiving the earliest of Mothers Day wishes from my eldest son at 3am.  While you are tucked away sleeping, I receive a phone call from 1,087 miles away.    1997 Eian 2 and Evan 3 months

He’s now 21 and living in Coloroda and in the US Army.  He hasn’t been at home for almost 3 years now.  He is a smart, genuine, handsome, athletic, faithful, caring but realistic and determined young man with dreams.  He tends to stay to himself, he doesn’t like attention and he is very passionate.  He is strong willed and focused.  He has thick skin & doesn’t let much get to him.  He works hard and he plays hard.  He and I grew so much closer once he joined the Military & I will never forget “that letter” he wrote while in boot camp.  The letter was written of his own persuasion & from the heart.  It was like I felt the ink drinking onto my heart from each and every word he wrote.  He also gave a shout out while he was in Qatar on Facebook one year – and when he posted it.  I thought to myself – damn girl you got it right – motherhood.  He stated that it was the little things he missed the most and that he didn’t take things for granted and he missed my hugs.  He is absolutely one of a kind and I am so proud to have shared the firsts with him in Motherhood.  Technology obviously makes it easier for me to see him but, there’s nothing like seeing him or hugging him in person.

My phone has yet to ring today from Evan.  He is my 19 year old spunky, spirited, humerus, loud, stubborn, not easily embarrassed center of attention, creative, talented fly by the seat of your pants son.  He will be the life of the party and light up every room he walks into.  You are somehow drawn to him and his personality.  He has a caring soul, he is sensitive and wears his heart on his sleeve.  He finds his own road and determines every direction based from today – there is no planning.  He is unorganized and the risk taker.  He cares what others think and he wants to help everyone and see everyone else happy.  He’s a giver.  He was my baby boy and we were close when he was little & it held up until right at 18.  As he started to take on the world as an adult – we began to clash. I was too nosy, too involved.  He is right, that’s exactly the type of parent I am.  As he started his Senior year in HS, his invincible attitude lead him into a few rough patches.  He struggled to finish that year but, he did.  It wasn’t easy – I know as I was the one calling, emailing, checking in, helping and yes even doing sometimes.  He had no desire to be in school as he felt he wasn’t understood.  Luckily, there was one Teacher who did understand him.  Mrs. Hale came to his open house & I could see the respect in his eyes and the adoration in hers.  I’m so thankful she was there for him in HS.  This young man is unique in every way & I adore him.  I have been blessed to have him as the 2nd child.  He is the one I experience everything last with.  I am so proud of that.

Now, before you think – son call your mom.  I have to say it’s not his fault.  He is at boot camp for the US Navy.  I’m hoping that they will allow him a phone call on Mother’s Day so that I may hear his voice but, if not I’ll hold on to the memories before and that will suffice and push me through.  However; I think those who are in charge have mothers and know their mothers would say – let them make the call 🙂  I have been blessed 3 times while he was away for very short (no more than 2 minute) phone calls.  Most of it was scripted and we didn’t really get to talk.  He spoke, I listened.  The first call was horrifying for me as I could hear it in his voice – he hated it.  The 2nd call, I felt better as he sounded more relaxed.  The 3rd left me smiling because he sounded more like the Evan I know.  I am very proud of this young man and I can say there was no need to send a card or post anything on a media site.  I got what I needed & that was confirmation in his voice the last time we spoke that he GETS it.  He understands why I was rough on him and pushed him and while he hates it now, it will pay off in the end.  That he loves me and appreciates me undoubtedly.    Click below

You’ll Be In My Heart Always

 

With all the above stated, I must say, “it’s different”.  This is the first year where both of the boys are gone.  My nest is empty for sure but, they are not even in the same stateas I am.  It’s the first time for them both to be not in Indiana at the same time and it’s been a bit rough.  The house isn’t just quiet, my day is quiet, my phone is quiet (no text), the town is quiet.  You see my boys are very well known to my friends and we all spent lots of time together.  So, my friends would text and say – just ran into Eian or Evan.  So, it’s all a different feeling for me to accept.  TRUST me when I say I love the quiet, the no interruptions to my day, not being late, not tripping over the rug my son rolled up with his foot or being woke up after just falling asleep in the afternoon to answer a simple question.  I also must say that I MISS those exact same things.  I have every intention of embracing it all and sitting on the sidelines watching and waiting for them to call or contact me.  Instead of being sad or thinking how much things have changed.  I will allow their memories to make me smile & drive me as I enjoy all the little things life has to offer.  I’ll pack my bag and hold them in my heart every single mile of the road ahead.  For today for Mother’s Day – I am headed South for a full weeks vacation.

I’m also lucky enough to have a boyfriend who cares.  Who tries with everything he has to make the transition of the boys both being gone a little bit easier.  He checks on me, he sends me notes, text, brings me drinks, cooks for me and yes today he even purchased me a bottle of wine, a thermos, cactus and balloons with a touching card – even if I’m not his mother.  He’s a sweetheart and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

I have a beautiful, inspirational, passionate, caring, kind hearted and extremely loving and sensitive mother who is still a very big part of my life.  For that I am grateful!!  I worked some OT today allowing others to have time off for Mother’s Day & Bob purchased my lunch, such a nice thing to do.

I have always said I am not just Eian & Evans mother.  I wear many other hats and am my own individual.  Now it’s time to let that shine!!  I want to see the world and all the beauty it has to offer.  Happy Mothers Day to each and every one of you who give it your all and do what needs to be done.  Extra hugs to those who don’t have their mothers here to help them in their time of need.  Remember her, tell her story, share.  For our legacy is our children.

“Being a mother, it is the greatest gift”

“Many people are passionate, but because of their limiting beliefs about who they are and what they can do, they never take actions that could make their dream a reality” – Anthony Robins

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

 

 

Motherhood has changed me

Over the past few years, I have been experiencing many different emotions in my life.  My children have both left home.  Eian is 21 – currently stationed in CO for the United States Army.  Evan is 19, graduated from HS & currently living with his father here in Frankfort.

I can honestly say I’m proud of both of my boys.  While they are completely different people, I love them both the same.  With Eian, my first born, I learned to experience my FIRSTS with him.  As a parent, your first born puts you through everything first, you feel so inexperienced and unprepared.  With your second child, you think you should have things mastered.  You have experienced most everything you thought possible.  WRONG, he’s my baby – the last one to leave the nest.  Truth is since Eian turned 13 I started preparing for his graduation, and departure emotionally.  So, that I didn’t break down and cry at graduation or his open house & such.  With Evan, I began the same process but, it was different.  It was different because I knew I wouldn’t have to prepare for those emotions ever again, he was the last one I would experience those emotions with.

You see as a Mother, I tend to take everything personally when it comes to my boys.  Their success, their errors, their compliments, their flaws.  For, I am half of what created them, and all that carried them.  For me, being a Mother – fulfilled me.  Growing up, that’s all I knew for a fact I wanted.  I wanted to be a Mother.  I didn’t think about how the roles of Motherhood would change once they became adults.

Obviously, I’m always going to be their Mother – nothing can ever change that.  But, the roles change.  You step aside, you watch from the sidelines waiting.  For if they need or want your input, they will ask.  You hope that everything you gave them was enough!  You hope that what they experienced growing up, they remember.  You were brought up in a loving home of God.  You got to watch your parents in a kind & loving marriage.  You watched your parents work as a team together, your team.  You knew you were number one.  You got to enjoy family vacations, playing any sport you wanted, have your friends over & have some of the best parties EVER.  You were shown pride, honor, dignity, love, respect, truth, compassion, affection, strictness, and forgiveness.  You watched two adults change while maintaining their self-worth.  You were watching your Mother as she learned to stand strong on her own as she went through a divorce.  You watched me be frugal, handle finances and got to see first hand how they can change,  and how to manage them.  What is important and what is not.  You saw me be sassy, spirited, stubborn, opinionated, self-loved, motivated, hurt, happy, angry, independent, involved, and even weak at times.  You watched my friendships blossom with old friends, new friendships develop and even some friendships disappear.  You watched as I opened up to another man, other than your father & you accepted him.  You embraced him & allowed me to be happy – without guilt.

But, did you learn anything from what you experienced?  That is the question I as your Mother worry about every single day.  I know you had chores, there were consequences to your actions, you were loved, hugged & kissed daily.  That you said, “yes ma’am & yes sir”, you opened doors for others, you didn’t liter, you smiled, you laughed, you learned because I watched it happen.  But, do you remember, did it stick with you.  Have you forgotten about all the good?

The only guarantee in this life is CHANGE!  Change is around us every second of every day.  As ugly as this world is, there is still beauty to be seen.  It is up to us to choose to see the beauty.  We start by looking at ourselves & seeing the beauty within.  See yourself for who you really are, a loving child of God who has so much to give this world.  Look in the mirror and see yourself, see your flaws, embrace them, if you can change them – work on them.  See your mind – educate it, use it.  See your heart – open it.  Don’t hold back with fear, allowing yourself to not live a full life because you are afraid of being hurt, failing or being rejected.  See all the mistakes from your past & know that they are learning experiences and you can and will grow from them.  They aren’t mistakes if you continue to make them.  Repeating them means they are just bad choices that you continue to choose to make.  See all the flaws you have and make them work for you, not against you.  Create the person you want to be by: knowing you are never alone, loving yourself, being honest with yourself, respecting yourself, respecting others, loving others, setting goals and achieving them.  You have so many qualities that I can’t even begin to list them all.  See them, see what I see, see what others see.

I have tried each and everyday to live my life as if it were my last.  There are many many things around us daily that remind us – it could be ME.  I could become ill, I could lose a sense, I could die today.  It could be you, it could be any one of us.  Time is too precious to waste & have nothing that really truly is important to you – and I don’t mean “things”.  Embrace yourself, those you love, and the things that make you happy – truly happy!  L I V E

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory ~ Dr. Suess

To Joey, With Love ~ this is a move that is a perfect example of what I’m talking about for even in death from cancer – they managed to remember what was important & to share it with the world.  God & Love.

Find tickets – only showing Oct. 6, 2016

 

 

 

Who is a Greeter?

When my son joined the Military I knew it would be a plethora of new emotions.  Each and everyday of my sons life I tell him I love him and I am proud of him.  I truly had no idea what the Military would bring for me.  I don’t know how it is possible for someone like me to feel more than I already do.  But, since he joined less than a year ago.  It is abundantly clear to me that I am experiencing more than I imagined emotionally.

There are a few things I have come to realize with my son being in the Military.  It is,  “ALWAYS hurry up and wait”.  You learn to love strangers.  You bond with people you may never get to meet in person.  You don’t get to share all you want with your friends and loved ones.  I get to see things that continue to amaze me!  My emotions and pride grow stronger and stronger daily.

Since I can’t share videos/photos all the time. I  will share my stories and feelings instead.  Once he was deployed, I wasn’t sure how I would handle it.  The first day, I was distant to others and sat beside my phone waiting for him to keep me posted.  As he called me, text or factimed me with his arrival and departure(s).  I became a little comfortable and settled in knowing he was doing all he could to keep me informed.  Once he arrived, knowing he was “bored” makes me feel so thankful – for it means he is safe.  During deployment, he had arrived at one airport and I made contact with volunteers.  I was shocked by the events that unfolded in front of my eyes when the cd arrived in the mail.

I watched as all of the Soldiers – my son were welcomed to the airport with love and pride by complete strangers.  Decorations all over with flags from the fallen, group photos from others previous deployments and returns.  A communication center with phones for Soldiers to use and books to read.  Signs hung everywhere.  YOU MAKE US PROUD with pictures from Elementary age students.  WE SUPPORT OUR TROUPS with each Military Branch.  A HEROS WALK where each Soldier walked through.  A quilt made in memory of the 13 soldiers killed at Ft. Hood November 5, 2009.  A miniature display of the Greetors station.  Franklin D. Roosevelts Bible, & many awards on display.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, WELCOME HOME TROOPS.  They had an amazing program put together with shirts, stars, food, sundaes and photography for our Soldiers.  They sang the National Anthem with our Soldiers.  They had prayer with our Soldiers.  Veterans were there sharing their pride and love for our country with the new Soldiers.  They meet and greet them, HUG them, thank them and take the time to share the moments with us – me!!  I watched each and every video.  The video of how it started, how long it has been taking place, how much work goes into it, who assists in the donations.  The video of the FLAG.  Describing what our flag means to them – the Soliders.  As I watched the videos and looked through the pictures of all the Soldiers – I saw all of their smiles.  The emotions overwhelmed me!!!  The love that I have for these strangers is indescribable.  They are there, somewhere I can’t be, supporting people they don’t even know.  It absolutely solidifies my PRIDE to be an American.  A Mother to a Soldier.

So, here is what I can share from the CD and I hope you all find it as moving as I do.

It Is the Soldier

by: Father Dennis Edward O’Brien United States Marine Corps

It is the Soldier, not the reporter, Who has given us freedom of the press.  It is the Soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.  It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer, Who has given us freedom to demonstrate.  It is the Soldier, not the lawyer, Who has given us the right to a fair trial.  It is the Soldier, who salutes the flag,  Who serves beneath the flag, And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protester to burn the flag.

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New Hampshire Eian Pease Greetors getting on the plane  In the Hanger, a photo I would have never been able to take

What is a Greeter?  Someone who greets a stranger as if they were a member of their family, someone with unconditional love for their country and those who fight for it.  A selfless and generous human being.  From the bottom of my heart – thank you to each and everyone of you that volunteer and or donate to such a program.  For those who have served and sacrificed and keep on giving.  This mother is eternally grateful.

Memorial Day 2013

Memorial Day I had been invited to many social gatherings, even carb day.  Instead of attending any of these, I opted to keep the twins for the weekend.  Friday I prepared for their visit, sort of baby proofing the living room.  Brought their high chair in, set up the pack in plays & had the house clean.  Saturday they arrived.  Evan, Skyler & I attended the EMS cook out & enjoyed the yummy food & meeting the paramedics.

My twin niece & nephew Jaycee & Keedan are approximately 8 months old on Memorial Day 2013.  They are just too precious for me to even describe.  So without words, here are some photos from them being with me that weekend.   Memorial Day Jaycee & her spoon memorial day snuggle buddies Memorial Day with Jonny my bear eian & Keedan memorial day

The oldest boy in the photo is my soon to be 18 year old son, Eian.  What you need to know about Eian; is he is not a big kid fan.  For some reason he has never really liked kids especially babies.  He use to scare his own cousin Morgan by walking up & yelling at her.  She remembers too.  With that being said, he still doesn’t like to sit with them very long but, he has loosened up to the twins.  He now at least acknowledges that they exist & he will even rub their belly for a second.  Now with Keedan, it is a bit different.  He tends to like Keedan.  Eian says it is because he is so cool.  Keedan doesn’t move around a lot, baby chatter, scream, or grab at you like Jaycee does.  Keedan has what we call the stare; where he just sits & stares off into space.  He has personality but, he tends to hide it.  Eian decided to take a video of Keedan laughing.  Well, when he played the video back, Keedan laughed and laughed at himself.  I don’t have that entire video but, I did manage to catch a short version of Keedan sitting on Eians lap watching himself.  My favorite part in this video is Eian knew he was being recorded & he tried so hard NOT to laugh at Keedan, he failed.  In the video Keedan is saying, “dad dad”.    http://2013keedanmemdaywitheian.shutterfly.com/pictures/8

That night Keedan fought sleep for 30 minutes.  Pattie has told me that this is his normal routine, fighting sleep.  We all rested well.  Sunday we got up & all of us enjoyed some company with friends.  Then we headed to Boss & Tiffany for a family cook out.  There was a “cursing episode” you will read about in another blog.  But, everyone fussed over the twins & I got to see many of my cousins.  We had a great time then headed back home to enjoy more company.  Billy & Pattie picked up the twins Monday late morning & I was sad to see them go.  All in all it was a great Memorial Day for me.

On a side note, sometimes I am not able to upload my videos from my phone/text/email.  So, I have located the shutterfly website that allows me to share them along with slideshows so you will probably see more shutterfly in the future.  Happy Reading.

SHMILY

Mom traveled from Ohio.  We celebrated on Saturday having a cook out.  All of her grand children were there.  With that said, the following day … Sunday I did not see my oldest son.  Instead, I received only a text stating Happy Mother’s Day.  Very much disappointed in the system for this huge error.  I was told that his father already had plans for the two of them to have dinner together out of town.  I had received a message from the Department of Corrections as most of you know Eian is on house arrest for underage drinking.  So, could anyone please explain to me why DOC would even leave me a message stating it was okay that he be out of town when he is on house arrest?  Not to mention, is there any one or any thing more important on Mother’s Day than that of a child being with his Mother?  Pish Posh to the system and to his father for once again being a selfish man.  Not that it matters who it was with, he wasn’t with me which is shameful!

Evan however; made Mother’s Day comical as always.  I had called him to wake him, he was still asleep at 10:30am.  He said he had a few things to do and needed to be up early….really.  He calls me at noon, mom where are you?  I am at my friends, why?  Well, I thought when you called me you were upstairs, so I went upstairs and you were not here, so I just needed to know.  I said, I am actually heading home is there something you need.  Yes, mom I am hungry.  Okay, great cause a double cheeseburger sounds good to me.  I pull up outside of the home.  Evan is dressed and standing patiently on the side walk.  Putting the car in park, I look over at his huge smile.  He raises his arm in the air  & says to me …. STRETCH IT, it’s Mothers Day, I am chauffeuring you around.  I laugh, and he walks over, opening the door & giving me a HUGE hug & kiss saying, Happy Mother’s Day.  He says, so where shall we eat?  I am not into fighting the crowds and since we had a wonderful cookout yesterday, I’m good with … and before I finish he says, just sit back I shall surprise you.  We pull into the drive thru at Milky Way and get tacos.  After that he said he would weed eat the yard later and just let me relax.  He was off to shoot some hoops.  I went home, did a load of laundry and relaxed until he called wanting a ride to play football.  He plays football for fun with men.  He told me after the game today that there was a new guy from Indy and he was like 6’3″ and 260 lbs, big guy and he tackled him.  He always just cracks me up.  Then we stopped at one of his best friends home.  He went inside and woke her up to give her a hug and tell her Happy Mother’s Day.  She said she was in tears.  Her son, Chris called me wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day later and said I would have came to visit or got you something but, I am kind of grounded and it made me giggle.  These boys have been friends since they were 5 years old.

Going through some of my things, I located a list of 10 reasons why Eian loves his mom.  Mothers Day collage

The list makes me smile just re-reading it.  It is all 100% accurate and my favorite part is that he wrote in cursive.  You will notice that he mentions where I work & that I always call him from work.  As he grew, he enjoyed going to work with me.  One time he was really ill.  I could not bare to leave him at home without me.  I brought a sleeping bag, pillow & placed him on the counter top behind me & allowed him to sleep right there in dispatch with me.  These were the good ole days.  Dispatch was under staffed & they would rather me bring my ill child then to call into work.  You were the best little sick kid a momma could ask for.  I also located this typed note Eian wrote me a few years later for Mothers Day.  You were at my job, and you cut out several hearts from our scrap paper :: notice the COPY, SERVE AS COMMANDED on the hearts.

You typed the letter and told me that there was nothing more than hearts in the hand made enveloped & that I needed to not mind the words on the hearts.  My heart swells with pride as I remember always being there for you, always loving you, always enjoying your little moments, always putting your needs ahead of my own.

I also located a hand made card from Evan.  The funny part about this card is that both Eian & Evan were very much intrigued when they found out that my name was not Keona Michelle Stidham.  When they found out that I use to be Keona Michelle Shelley, they just found it funny.  So, they began calling me Keona Shelley sometimes.  If we were in a place where lots of moms were, that was their favorite time to yell Keona Shelley.  They knew if they yelled mom … everyone would look.  So, in this card Evan wrote the card to his mom, Keona Shelley … his spelling of course is much more humerus.  And after Matt & I divorced, I had discussed with them taking my maiden name back.  Evan stated, that is fine mom we will just change our name to Shelley as well.  I chuckled & stated it doesn’t work that way, I chose to keep the name for my children.

My mother wrote me a letter telling me about how she came across a story of a couple who use to use SHMILY on everything they wrote to one another.  She stated that they would write notes and sign it this way, or write it in the fog of the mirror, write it with the ketchup on top of the meatloaf.Whatever came to mind.  SHMILY stands for See How Much I Love You.  After mom sent us this story, she began using it when she would write to us all.  Matt & I began using it as well.  We shared it with our boys.  I would write them notes in their lunch boxes with SHMILY, it would be on their birthday cards & anything else for that matter.  Matt & I basically made it a tradition to use for our entire family.  I am grateful that my mother shared it with us.  After Matt & I divorced, Eian would still use SHMILY (& still does).  I did not mind that he used it however; I could not bring myself to use it as Matt was no longer a part of my family & this was something we shared as a family, as a whole.  So, I wanted to find my own phrase.  It wasn’t long after that – I started using YBIMHA.  It stands for You Will Be In My Heart Always.  It is a song in the Tarzan movie, it was one of Evans favorites, mostly because of the music, his eyes would get so big & his smile the biggest I had ever seen when he was younger & this song would play.  Even better because Evan & I argued about the song, I said it states You’ll Be In My Heart Always & he said nope it does not say Always ….well, he was right.  So, with me being wrong, I decided to add it as a special touch between he & I.  One that we were able to communicate, two that he was right, 3 that I was willing to admit I was wrong.

So, this is something I plan to carry on as a tradition with my boys FOREVER.  Many people see it on my fb posts & I have had several inquire about the meaning.  A relative, Jenny Kochert & I actually had a genuine conversation about it, the meaning & where it came from.  Our conversation reminded me of my Mother’s letter & she inspired part of this blog.  Hopefully, she has used one of the phrases herself or has created her own, as I think it is spectacular to have in a family.

I have many things I want to pass along to my boys as a Mother.  My love for music, especially the golden country tunes, George Jones, stories about our family growing up.  Most importantly I want to pass on the love that their father & I shared at one time.  We created those boys out of love, they were planned, they were wanted & it was all 100% real.  We were devoted to them.  We were raising them properly in our home, attending First Christian Church as a family & doing things together.  We were involved, we worked together, we were a team.  We showed them what a relationship & love was suppose to be like.  We have many amazing letters, poems, gifts, videos, photos, & memories.  I want to leave my boys with this part of our marriage & life.  I want them to remember that part of their father & I.  Not the part they get now, as it is not always pretty.  While I tried in every way possible to find a way to make us be friends & communicate.  Sadly, it just is not happening.  For reasons unknown to me, although I have my suspicions of the influences.  No matter the reason, this is one way for me to show the boys that I did everything to make it better & for them to REMEMBER the good & the love.

It is very necessary that I point out some inspirational women in my life while growing up.  Without these women I would not be who I am today.  Darnell Marcum, Annie Buser, Brenda Cottrell, Jamie Kochert, Debbie Crowe.  Darnell allowed me to see what a family was & how they were suppose to be, together, surrounded, supported.  Annie whom is now the boys Godmother guided me through HS, she saw me for who I was and somehow always knew when I was down, & would reach out to me.  Brenda raised me like her own daughter, giving me the chance to stay a part of the Shelley family when I could have been put in foster care.  Jamie showed me there was more in life.  More than what you have, that you don’t have to settle, that there is reward when you apply yourself, put forth an effort, and stop having excuses.  She showed me that there is so much in this world to explore, and I want to see it all.  Debbie, showed me how to accept someone & love them as your own child.  She also showed me that we are stronger than we think & that we can manage to over come even the worst.  She showed me the value of being a Mother & through a pain of her own, how NOT to allow a moment to pass without cherishing your gifts & what you have.  Other women/mothers have inspired me in others ways.  Mostly showing me through their own experiences; many things that I do not want to be as a Mother.  Not to be jealous of a relationship my son may endure.  Not to challenge that relationship.  How to support my son even when he is wrong while still being honest with them & letting them know they are.  Not to be a person who says one thing and does another.  When push comes to shove; I may have to show my son(s) that I am their Mother not their friend & if we’re lucky & their seed grows properly as it was planted, we will be blessed enough to be both.  To never lie to my children.

You’ll Be In My Heart ~ Phil Collins

Timothy 1:5: “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”                               This quote allows me to remember while I seem strict & my teen may be angered & believe my punishment is too harsh.  That one day he will be rewarded with the understand knowledge that I provided sound instruction when it was difficult & chose to be his Mother not his friend.  That he will thank me one day for it.

There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own ~ Doug Larson

A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be, A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. ~ Frank Howard Clark