Still waiting for it to be final

May 21 of 2011 – yes this year, will be 17 years that I have been married.  Married at the age of 18 to my High school sweetheart, the man of my dreams.  Life was great, it was as it was suppose to be.  Sharing two amazing children together, at the age of 35, never did I think I would be writing about my marriage in a past tense form.  I have been separated now for 2 years and am very much looking forward to the day my divorce will be final.

The legal battle is brutal when you cannot agree and get along.  Learn a lesson from someone else, if you can get along, and compromise out of court, force yourself.  In the end, the only ones winning are the attorneys.  In this case our biggest disagreement in the end was retirement.  Legally, what is owed to me will be however; if we would have agreed and negotiated outside of court we would both be in a much better financial situation right now as the attorney fees to date I have spent $8,250. You do the math..
I have for many years kept a journal.  At some point you will have the exact dates, experiences, and emotions that I wrote about during specific moment(s) in my life.  There’s nothing more liberating for me personally than writing things down.  I love the way my hand flows against a piece of paper with a thick reinforcement, how the ink spreads organized and neatly out of the pen landing as a piece of artwork.  Handwriting is a true beauty in itself.  I change my handwriting form often and just write random letters to create a new style.  Another favorite thing to do is type, back in the day could I really pound out the letters (like Speedy Gonzales).   
As you travel back in time with me, listening to the words of my past, present, and future. My purpose for writing the blog is simple.  While there are many things no one else can begin to imagine what it would be like to experience.  You can learn something from everything and everyone if you are willing to be open and listen.

Those of you whom know me, don’t even need to read the next paragraph.  Those of you whom don’t, below you will find a description of my personality and how I take on the world.  There will be many many stories and milestones in my writings and not all of them will be pretty nor will I butter it up.  I am an extremely blunt, open, strong, opinionated personality.  Some say I come across as abrasive and mean.  I say, I am who I am and at the end of the day I have to live with myself and I love me.  Those who truly know me have more than likely seen a softer and more sensitive caring side – but she stays hidden until then.  I do have very strong opinions and am not afraid to voice them.  I need no one or nothing in my life other than God and my children to survive.  The others are just luxuries and yes I have many.  I will write the truth about my feelings and my views on my experiences.  As I write, my intentions are not to hurt anyone but, to share my life…..if you don’t like it don’t read it.

I have several quotes that I have saved over the years and will share them with you as I write.

At every ending, there is a new beginning


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