Life is fleeting – this is my favorite of all time.
I know that when I die many things will happen :: the world will still continue for all but a few. Those few will certainly grieve for me. They will feel a void, they will feel cheated, and not ready. The will feel as though a part of them died as well. They will want more time with me. I know this from losing those I love and grieve for today. Knowing this, I want to teach you, teach you how to remember the past but, live in the now. My time with those I love, that time, those memories are finite and fleeting. So l pass this knowledge on to you before too much time passes & I am no longer here.
If you have lost anyone you loved, anyone you wish you had just one more day with. Think of that – that pain – that want – and don’t waste another second not filling the time you have even if just 30 minutes with those who you love and if time was taken away you would say, “I wish I had one more day”. Make today count. That way there are no regrets. In death you can embrace life instead and cry with tears of happiness and tears of joy for the gift of having them for as long as you had them … until you meet again. Make your seconds matter, share yourself with those you love. Do not squander that time – it will pass and you will have regret. DO NOT spend your time on those who don’t make an effort or time for you – who mistreat you or don’t appreciate you.
LAUGH/SMILE – smile and be happy – stop allowing others to make your day better – you control it. If you constantly argue or have someone who is wearing on you and taking that smile away – remove them from your everyday. NO ONE should have that power over you. It is yours to keep. USE that power wisely and SMILE; life is so much better, I promise.
SARCASM – Don’t take everything so seriously, mock many things in life & enjoy it but, be serious when you need to be serious about serious situations.
DECISIONS – really get to know yourself, and once you do. Make decisions about your life and your happiness based off of you and who you really are. Don’t compromise who you are for others. Make decisions that will lead you where you want to be. You are the only reason you don’t succeed. Sometimes you have to think about a decisions before you make it, if you are struggling with it. Talk to God & also write down the positives/negatives and help yourself make the decision. But, it’s okay if you make the wrong one. Sometimes they are hidden gems that lead you to a place you never thought of. LEARN how to do things yourself. Check the oil, change your tire, and a little maintenance. Read the directions you can build it, you can cook it. DO NOT QUIT – allows follow through, always be a person of your word….character is what defines you. Don’t smoke if you do quit. Your body is a temple and this will destroy it – I promise. If you choose to do illegal things, know the consequences and pay the price.
PROCRASTINATION – don’t procrastinate – make time for things – one thing at a time even, finish them – a project or hobby. Today is only here today. I’m trying to catch up on mine – I started too many.
THINGS – remember things are just that, things – over priced – replaceable. Spend your money on yourself and those you love for fun and memories. But, make the gift worth your money. I’d rather have one really nice necklace I can wear daily than 40 cheap ones. Because one is all you ever really need. (but, trust me I have 100 because I’m cheap) Just remember to buy the things that you really want. The other things just collect dust and end up being sold for a $1 at a garage sale. Make GIFTS, put thought into the gifts for the people you care about. Don’t be afraid to shop at goodwill (or coupon and sale shop) for clothes and know you can look FINE as hell. I rocked many goodwill dresses and outfits. Spend your money on what makes you truly happy. For me, it’s vacation!!!
LOVE – This is not negotiable!!! You MUST love yourself first. If you don’t love yourself, you will never truly be happy with anyone. If you aren’t happy with yourself – fix what you don’t like. I don’t mean just the physical parts, I mean emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Make yourself strong, love yourself – even your flaws. Make your flaws work for you, not against you. if you aren’t sure you are in love – it’s not love. When you know – you know. If you are willing to give up everything and I mean everything for one person it’s true love. That doesn’t mean you have to give it up because if they love you – they won’t allow that to happen. There are many different levels of loving someone, don’t be afraid of any of them. But, when you find REAL TRUE love with another – hold onto it & remember it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. (this goes back to appreciating what you have) even when it’s taken away.
FORGIVE – forgive yourself for any mistakes and pain you may have caused others, even yourself. Forgive those who have caused you pain. Forgive them … when you forgive you will feel free. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you will forget. Use your mistakes to learn, use others to avoid making the same.
ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GUT – if it says this isn’t right, it feels wrong, believe it. If it says it’s unsafe – get out – don’t wait!!! Your intuition is just that it’s almost never wrong.
FAITH/HOPE – ALWAYS have faith, find something bigger in you to believe in. Prepare for the worst & hope for the best. This way you are never truly disappointed. Know that anything is possible, good or bad. Learn how to cope, how to deal. You have to find healthy ways to deal with life, changes and sadness. Don’t make things bigger than they are. Things take hard word & patience. There are so many healthy ways to deal with life and sadness, don’t self diagnose and don’t always take a pill to fix it – the world today is too offended & blames everything on a “diagnosis”. It’s called life – FIX the things that cause you all the bad emotions. If you do need medicine make it temporary, remember to look for healthy home remedies too.
DON’T BE AFRAID – fear is only fear if you don’t face it. If you live in fear you are never truly living. Try new things, try them more than once, we change as we grow. Expand your pallet – taste new foods, taste them more than once, our taste buds grow too. Know the difference between “I don’t like the way that taste” and “I don’t really like the thought of liking that”. Really TRY it. This isn’t just about food. Don’t be afraid to dance, to sing, to be silly, to laugh. Don’t be afraid to be HONEST, to allow your partner to have friends of the opposite sex (you either trust them or you don’t – if you don’t you’re wasting your time with that person). It’s about a job, a career, school, staying at home, being a friend, having friends, sharing, helping a stranger, giving, taking, asking for help, driving, flying, boating, sking, parachuting, being a sibling, a child, a mother, and grandmother, an Aunt, a Godmother, it’s about EVERYTHING.
LOYAL & HONEST – lying will only cause you more pain, more lies, and more drama. A relationship can never be built on dishonesty. Avoid temptation, if something is tempting you & it’s bad “avoid it, them”. Don’t be afraid to walk away from it. Always tell the truth!!!! Always – in the end truth always wins. If you have to hide it – you aren’t suppose to be doing it. We all have a moral compass, we direct it.
FIND THE FREE THINGS – find the free things in life – the library gives a pass to one state park for free. Find out when you can go to places for free, discounted movies for free. Some of the best things in life are FREE. You just have to take the time to find them.
TRUST – trust yourself – trust that you will figure it out, trust that you can do it alone, trust that you picked a good partner, trust that if it doesn’t work you will find a way to make it work (even if on your own), trust those who have proven to you they will never turn their backs on you, trust that the only guarantee in life is CHANGE, trust that there are no promised tomorrows, trust that in life you can either survive in this world and be a victim your entire life or you can LIVE life to the fullest enjoying everything the world has to offer. If you don’t like your job, find a new one.
When you become a parent, let your kids sleep in the middle sometimes but, mostly in their bed, say yes more, be strict but loving, guiding and affection, sit back and just watch them, soak in the moments in awe & know that you created that. Watch them, let them choose sometimes, most importantly ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH. There are consequences to actions, they must know this. Don’t sway or feel bad, no means no, it’s not up for negotiation. Don’t parent from guilt. Parent with enforcement, honesty & love, don’t allow them to disrespect you or others, don’t give them everything they want make sure they hear NO, make them do chores & know how to survive on their own, teach them life skills, and how to be good human beings. SHOW them by leading them with your example, teach them about money. Make time for yourself, make time for each child individually. Embrace their differences but, love them the same – never have a favorite.
ENJOY IT – have fun, enjoy everything life has to offer, make acronyms, write poetry, do whatever you want. Learn to carry a tune or play an instrument. GIVE back, volunteer especially with the elderly. Listening to them is therapeutic. Read a book, go for a walk, a run, use your imagination.
Last but, not least TRUST that when people show you who they are believe them. It’s simple really, don’t make it difficult. This one is the most difficult for people to believe but, it’s true. Do things because it’s the right thing to do, you know it’s deserved, appreciated and not because of guilt. Listen to music and let it change you, dance! Don’t complain about it, find solutions and fix it. We only have one body, one life here on Earth make it the healthiest and happiest!
Know whether you are my child, my surrogate child, my niece/nephew, my surrogate niece/nephew, my relative or my friend. I choose for you to be in my life – because I am blessed. Know that I LOVE YOU.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST Keona Michelle Shelley Stidham 10-28-2017
~ Be strong, but not rude. Be kind, but not weak. Be bold, but don’t bully. Be humble, but not shy. Be proud, but not arrogant. ~ Jim Rohn
~ Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal ~ Richard Puz